


Spices

by RavenTores



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Action, Age Difference, Deviates From Canon, Everyday Life, M/M, Psychology, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenTores/pseuds/RavenTores
Summary: I know how we can get back to Cardassia together
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TimeLordOfManyNames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLordOfManyNames/gifts).



Garak found some of the Federation's principles irrational, other ones overly naive, and the rest of them imprudent. This was probably the source of constant debates with a young federal doctor Julian Bashir. Their differences had become an exquisite spice for every conversation, and Garak secretly didn't want to part with it.

Their relationship was pleasingly predictable, laced with a reasonable dose of surprise, and Garak assumed that nothing would change in the near future. He hadn't expected a night visit of an extremely agitated doctor.

The door to the apartment opened on its own, although Julian usually didn't use neither medical codes for no reason, nor... Garak put down the PADD and stood up, aware that his door just had been hacked into, which meant that Julian had chosen to bypass the security system rather than use accesses he had.

«My dear, what happened?» Garak asked, seeing that Julian wasn't going to — or wasn't daring to? — speak first.

«They... know». He took a step forward and put his hands on Garak's shoulders in a gesture of desperation. «Do you understand?»

«No». Garak didn't pull away, the touch of the hot hands was pleasant, and there weren't many really pleasant moments on DS9. «But if you explain, I'm sure I'll understand much better.»

Julian threw his head back for a moment, like a swimmer before jump into water, took a fitful breath, and finally said:

«I'm genetically enhanced. Genetic enhancements…»

«...are forbidden in the Federation. From the perspective of the law you are a criminal and even more — the one who attempted to get place of a Starfleet officer.» Garak tilted his head slightly. «And you've been hiding it, but now…»

«…they know». Julian dropped his head. «I don't have much time. I have to run.»

«And so you came to me, didn’t you?» Garak asked, a bit surprised.

«I know how we can get back to Cardassia together». Now they looked into each other's eyes. The feverish fire in Julian's eyes was not at all like the one Garak got used to notice during their arguments. Nor did it remind of the flames that Garak had been observing when Julian had been found a solution for a new patient. No.

This Julian really couldn't stay in the Federation any longer.

«Tell me.» Garak said, drawing him to the sofa. «Since we don't have much time.»

It was irrational and imprudent to pursue genetic improvements, and naive to outlaw them. Garak stared at doctor's face and wondered how the coincidence of their interests and feelings could also feel so... spicy.

***

Bypass the security system, select one of the shuttles, launch lockdowns, hidden from the federal operating system installed over the cardassian one, that put the entire once Terok Nor into emergency mode… When their ship left the station, there were more important things in there to worry about than the medical chief, suddenly disappeared.

Having the course set, Julian leaned back in his chair and looked at Garak as if inviting him to talk.

«I assume you're waiting for a question.» Garak chuckled. «You want me to ask, how did you find out?..»

«I keep monitoring certain channels.» Julian nodded. «The order of my detention will reach commander Sisko tomorrow.»

Garak glanced at the dashboard and followed the indicated course. The plan was risky, but elegant. And while his success was doubtful, it was the combination of risk and grace that might prompt one important figure to help them.

«I'm sure Tain will be interested.» Julian said casually.

And suddenly Garak realized that this was the first time he had ever seen him like this — stripped of the mask of a naive and sympathetic youth, burning with the ideals of the Federation. This Julian Bashir turned out to be focused, rational and tough.

Like a new spice in a familiar dish. Garak needed to appreciate the new taste.

***

«The Federation betrayed you, and you decided to betray the Federation?»

They sat in the living room of Tain's house. As if they were old friends. Holding a thin glass of sky-blue kanar between his fingers, Garak watched Tain's every move. Julian, on the other hand, seemed extremely relaxed.

«Did I betray the Federation by being here?» he paraphrased the question. «I don't think so. I am a project that runs counter to her great spirit.» The smile that flickered across his lips was quite skeptical. «In our negotiations I am rather a thing, a condition that will allow our mutual acquaintance to terminate his exile.»

«Exile.» Tain repeated disdainfully. «Extended vacation. This will be more accurate. But you should understand, Julian, — he smirked, — that cardassian interrogation techniques can make you tell a lot more than that, shouldn’t you?»

«I'll be more useful alive.»

Garak noted that Julian — oh, where had that naive and slightly awkward federal doctor gone —had not taken a sip from his own glass. The pause dragged on, as if Tain had missed the question.

«We know how to keep alive those we want to question,» he said at last.

«You forget that I am a doctor.» Julian's smile was predatory, and ice in his eyes made even Garak feel uneasy. «A doctor who figured out the features of the Obsidian order’s implant perfectly. And who is able to embed a lot of intriguing devices into his own body. I'm much more useful alive,» then he spread his hands. «But in any case I'd rather die than return to the Federation or…» he paused, «betray the Federation.»

Yes, some of the Federation's principles were definitely irritating, while others seemed frivolous. But Garak had already noticed that part of them was still... very curious.

«Fine.» Tain accepted the terms. «I retired a long time ago, but I still have connections…»

Garak smirked, not believing a word of it. The game has begun.

***

«Why did you choose me?» Garak asked when they were alone in their assigned house. Cardassia Prime was so close, but for now they had to take shelter in one of the colonies.

«Did I have a choice?» Julian examined the replicator, his abilities in kardasi exceeded expectations, but were still limited.

«You could turn to Gul Dukat with the same suggestion. He would have given you shelter with equal zeal.» Garak moved closer and activated the panel, selecting a few simple dishes that he thought would have tasted good to Julian.

«Gul Dukat is too close to commander Sisko. In their political dance I would become a pawn.» Julian took the appeared tray and stepped back to the table. «And I prefer the role of another chess piece.»

«Such as?» Garak looked at him, intrigued.

«I like to feel myself a queen, if you understand…» Julian didn't look up at him, busying himself with tasting instead. «Hmm, I think I can get used to... cardassian cuisine. »

Garak sat across from him. He wasn't used to not get answers.

«And still, Julian, why did you come to me and not, for example, directly to Tain?» he repeated.

Now they were looking at each other again.

Garak tried to imagine an answer. Would an ex-federal doctor refer to the need to trust someone? Will he say that he considers him a reliable ally? Will he indicate that he has another plan in which Garak himself will be the condition for sealing the contract?..

«Maybe because I love you?» as though Julian suggested instead. «There are many reasons, but now it seems to me it is the only one worth voicing.»

Garak gasped for a moment, as if the dish was too spicy. Julian wasn't joking, and his look was direct and firm. He didn't doubt his own feelings or his choice.

It didn't look like his plan was created at the last moment. Not like that at all…

«How long have you known that the Federation started hunting you?» Garak asked, as if it mattered now.

«Did I ever say that it... started hunting?» Julian chuckled. «The hunt never stopped. They just finally collated the data and got my name.» He resumed eating, and the tension became so palpable that Garak's eyes narrowed. «I've been monitoring information about searches for me since graduation from school.»

«And it took them so long to find you?» Garak couldn’t help it.

«And they wouldn't have found me, if I hadn't helped them do so». Julian's voice didn't change, he didn't change his pose, he didn't stop eating. «But if I hadn't, would you have agreed to run away with me, Elim?»


	2. Chapter 2

An isolated scientific center, formally subordinate to the Detapa Council, but actually dedicated entirely to the needs of the Obsidian order, was located on Cardassia Prime, but far from the capitals and major settlements. Garak and Julian arrived there incognito.

When they were left alone for the first time in the house that had been allocated to them, Garak wondered, while examining the adjoining garden, how curiously their lives had changed. On DS9 they played the roles of a tailor and a Starfleet doctor brilliantly. Now they had to try on the new ones — Julian would become a scientific consultant and a scientific object at the same time, and Garak himself… Well, his role was not fully defined, but Tain, who had said good-bye to them at the shuttle, remarked casually:

«Let's just say I feel better with him under your care.»

Garak wasn't entirely sure who was looking after whom, or why Tain should even be concerned about them, but either way — no one wanted to separate them. Not that Garak was afraid of being alone, but he found it unwise to separate. Cardassia had changed, and until he learned enough about it, Julian seemed the only predictable element.

«Maybe because I love you?» came back to him.

Garak looked at the pale flowers that were dying without moisture. The one who used to do the gardening neglected his duties and brought the plants to a terrible state. The flowers with drooping leaves were dropping their petals and slowly agonizing. Garak looked around and saw the irrigation system hiding into the shadows, then went back to the house and found a panel on the wall, hidden behind an ornate decoration. Soon, moisture sparkled in the air, refreshing the garden.

«Would you have agreed to run away with me?» Another memory.

Garak watched the moisture wash over the leaves, watched the flagstones slowly darken. Light penetrated drops, and they splitted it into thousands of rainbows.

«Or maybe you're trying to run away from me now?» Julian had never said it, but in Garak's mind he looked straight in his eyes and a bit mockingly. The gardening was finished, and the irrigation system was set up. He could go back to the house.

Garak hesitated. The flowers smelled stronger after watering, the spicy smell hung in a thick cloud, and Garak took a deep breath of this exceptionally Cardassian scent.

Could such a drastic change be trusted?..

***

In the first three weeks they barely spoke, except for kardasi lessons, which with Garak has kindly agreed to help Julian. The doctor's abilities had been remarkable before, but now that the mask had been torn off and trampled on, it turned out that he was much more talented. He easily remembered difficult moments, got his bearings in a huge array of information very well, and everything seemed to come easily to him.

With each passing day a feeling grew in Garak that he had never seen a tenth of what was opening in front of him now.

Julian had used to charm him with his innocence and naivety before, but now he became a puzzle, and Garak couldn't decide which image he liked best.

And how real was the Julian in front of him now.

Garak waited for the conversation to continue. The Julian he had known for so long would have been the first to break down, would have tried to find out if his feelings had found response. The Julian before him now didn't show any interest in the answer.

Garak didn't want to force things, but he was beginning to think that it was what Julian was seeking for. He forced him to speak first about what really united them, about feelings that Garak had been used to neglect for too long.

***

«The Obsidian order is very determined,» Julian said when they were having dinner. «The scale of their researches is impressive.»

«Indeed?» Garak inclined his head slightly.

Julian looked him up and down and grinned.

«What do you think, will I be able to take the lead of these researches?..»

Garak coughed, as if there were too much pepper in the food. Red chili, which he had to meet on DS9, where they knew nothing about the spices he was used to in Cardassian cuisine.

«Take the lead?» Garak repeated slowly. «I have no doubt of your abilities, my dear. But it seems to me that the Obsidian order is an organization too conservative to allow such an important post to be held by someone…»

«Lacking the ridges?» Julian continued to grin.

«Someone from the Federation.» Garak raised his hands. «Don't get me wrong, doctor…»

«Julian,» he corrected, his face unchanged.

«Julian, the principles of the Federation are not at all close to Cardassia, and besides…» Garak's eyes narrowed. «You are still used to save lives, and the Obsidian order is very good at taking them away.»

Julian gave him a careless salute with his glass.

«Let's have a bet, Garak,» he suggested.

«Have a bet?»

«I'll take the lead of these researches,» Julian promised.

«What are we betting on? What will your bid be if it turns out that this will not happen?» Garak leaned forward a little.

«And what will you bet?» Julian put down his glass on the table.

«Well, if you'll turn out to be right — which, of course, you will never be — I will disclose to you one personal secret,» Garak said, following the flash of awareness in Julian's eyes.

«A high stake,» said Julian. «I'll have to invent something similar to answer that.»

«I won't rush you.» Garak chuckled, sure that Julian wouldn't read in his face how excited he really was about the former Starfleet doctor's desire to take the lead of research, conducted by the Obsidian order. «You didn't even set dates for the bet.»

Can someone who has not proven their loyalty to Cardassia end up in such a post?..

How much has Cardassia changed, if this became possible?

***

It didn't seem long, but the garden had so markedly changed. The shrubs that surrounded the house bloomed, the flowers spread out and grew strong, and the veylee trees lifted their branches to the sky.

Standing on the garden path, wrapped in twilight, Garak breathed in spicy scents of Cardassia, listened to the rustling and sounds of small insects and nocturnal animals that woke up and were preparing to hunt down prey, seek out sweet fruits, and rush through the darkness towards their own small but important goals.

Did he ever think that he would actually return to Cardassia and be able to see and feel all this again?..

«Would you have agreed to run away with me?»

At the time, Julian didn't wait for his answer. One could see that he had made one up himself, taking silence as the value of a variable in an equation that he did not intend to solve. But Garak didn't answer not because he would have said «I wouldn't.» or «Of course I would.» He kept silence because he didn't know the real answer.

Standing in the gathering gloom, smelling acute odors that were settling as a spice on his tongue, Garak still couldn't find it.

«This garden needs a firm hand,» Julian's voice rang out. He came up behind him without making a sound, and Garak was sure that he stood in the dark for a while, watching him. «Will you take care of it?»

«You think I should stay here, my dear, don't you?» Garak looked at him briefly. «In the capital…»

«You won't go to the capital without me,» Julian spoke confidently and calmly. «You won't leave me either now or ever later.»

«How can you be so sure? Aren't you too convinced of your irresistibility?» Garak chuckled.

But Julian didn't answer. When Garak turned his head, he was not there, as if he had never actually left the house, only soft, muted light was streaming from the door that remained open, already attracting the lightest of moths.


End file.
